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And have an insatiable desire to travel the world.

And have an impregnable faith in God.

All while being close with your family.

…well. How about that. Returning to the midwest could have been the worst choice for my personal life.

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Having survived intern year as a Family Medicine Resident, I found my tortuous work schedule having severely handicapped my ability to find a love interest here in Columbus.

Not that I was surprised by this turn-of-events, but I had held out hope I would miraculously run across The love-of-my-life in a Nightcall induced haze while guzzling a Monster at 7AM.

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Having delved into the world of on-line dating when I lived in nYc and found one of the loves of my life, I decided to give on-line dating another whirl.

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What I have found here in Columbus is a consistent echo that is starkly different than what I discovered in the City that never sleeps.

Must Love Dogs. I do love them; they are man’s best friend. But in the 21st century, they are even more so a woman’s best friend. As I have written before, I love dogs, even grew up with several of them, but for the most part am extremely allergic.

They are woman’s best friend to the point there are now more dogs than children in the US. It seems they are no longer just the stepping stone for newly weds before they have children, but they are actually replacing children.

{Less Kids, More Dogs}

I would guesstimate approximately 1/3 of the women I am “matched” with have a dog.

Ok, that leaves 66%, which is an astronomically high number given the bevy of good-natured, beautiful women here in Ohio; quite the sizeable chunk of women who could be a good “match.”

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I want to travel the world. Yeah, me too. But I already did in my 20’s. It was awesome. And I did it with a beautiful woman at my side. Double-awesome.

So I won’t say I’m averse to making some more jaunts around the globe, as I have inumerable places I want to visit before all is said and done (ie: Rio, Sydney, Bangladesh), but I’m not looking for a travel companion.

Or a “partner in crime.” I can hardly control my cantankerousness when I am “matched” with a world-traveler looking for a partner in crime.

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There goes another 10% of my on-line dating pool.

{Note: the overlap of women who indicate that I Must Love Dogs and Want to travel the world with a partner in crime approaches 45%.}

Man of God. Hmmm, not so much.

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Enough said.

In the midwest, terribly close to the Bible-belt, being an agnostic/atheist doesnt seem to jive with most people’s thought process.

The “matched” dating pool for me starts painfully tightening. A conservative estimate would eliminate another 25%. Staggeringly, I am down 80% of the women a reputable online dating service has used complex algorithms (I hope) to find me a woman I’d be interested in dating.

On-line Dating

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Close with your family. Depends on what you consider close.

As in, spend the holidays with them? Come from an intact nuclear family?

Or concerned I am going to be saddled with an empty-nested mother in the not too distant future?

All topics within the same theme that I actively avoid when going on dates. But inevitably is brought up in the first 10 minutes because reputable women need to know if your parentage suffers from behavioral or economic disturbances.

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A final conservative estimate of those four criterion snuffs out an apocalyptic 95% of the single, desirous of having a family, non-smoking, willing to attempt on-line dating, and hopefully mentally intact women within 150 miles of my current location.

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Don’t be mistaken though. It’s not as if I have given up hope, given up looking, or straight up given up. I’m on the right side of 40, have a Y chromosome, and recognize patience as one of my best virtues.

But having survived almost half of Residency, it would be nice to find an amazing woman whose life goals and expectations Match mine.

I’ll just have to wait and see what happens…

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