Two and a Half Men
In a drug-induced state of psychosis, Charlie Sheen once famously said, “WINNING!” in reference to how his life was turning out post “Two and a Half Men.”
Having starred as the playboy uncle to the father-son duo who shared billing with him, Charlie was now an outcast from his on-screen role. So an urge to assume the real life playboy role of his younger years seemed to envelop him, resulting in the now-famous quote.
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I found myself in a similar role during the three months I lived with my friends, The Mastersons, during the summer/fall of 2013. And by similar role, I mean, broke pseudo-uncle who needs a place to live and decides not to leave.
#WINNING, indeed.
While my initial reasons for accepting The Masterson’s offer for a place to stay revolved around me being a broke medical student, my reasons for staying quickly evolved around the relationship between two members of the family, Matt and his son, Nathaniel. [Props to Jo and Lyla for putting up with me too.]
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I’ve written before about my experiences with playing “dad” in When I had a Son, but in the midst of The Masterson home, I found myself settling in to a hybrid role of uncle-playmate-curious observer.
In the case of the father and son in Two and Half Men, they constantly find themselves in the midst of Charlie’s high-jinks, womanizing, and tom-foolery. I’m guessing Matt and Jo were thankful my character, Me, brought none of those into their home. Especially since my bedroom doubled as Jo’s office during the day.
“Eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn!!!”
As long as he was still awake when I returned home, Nathaniel would screech my name when I strolled through the garage door and into the kitchen. In his three-year-old mind, I must have seemed a like a walking, talking, ball-tossing, live-in playmate. Not that I minded his interpretation of my place in the Masterson home. I reveled in the role of “Uncle Charlie.”
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While I thoroughly enjoyed chasing Nathaniel around the house, playing with fighter jets in the living room, or eating dinner with him at the dining room table, it was fascinating to see his personality change, his capabilities increase, and his interests broaden from one day to another. Every day he was growing in mind, body, and spirit.
I have several other close friends with young children, but I may go several months between seeing them, making the changes in their behavior and capabilities more pronounced. In the case of Nathaniel, it was rare that I would go a day without seeing him, even if only for a few minutes. From this new perspective, I could observe his advancing development as subtle, but apparent, on close reflection.
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The opportunity of being “Uncle Charlie” with Nathaniel was enriching, but I was also carefully observing how Matt and Nathaniel’s relationship was developing. My observations with other friends and their sons are short-lived, never on such a daily basis, and typically revolve around celebrations of some sort.
But we all know that things could be different behind the closed doors of one’s own home.
In my opinion, the responsibility of a parent is to be an role model, while also being someone who’s willing to address incorrect behavior when necessary.
When one day Nathaniel went from playfully crawling on the floor with Lyla (who wasn’t yet crawling) to playfully sticking her fingers in his mouth and chomping down, Matt sprung from doting father into “Jesus Christ my son just bit my daughter’s fingers” mode.
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Nathaniel’s intent wasn’t to cause pain or disfigurement, but Matt had to make sure Nathaniel’s three-year-old brain would remember this was a bad thing the next time a finger came close to his mouth. So Matt raised his voice, alerting Nathaniel to his father’s watchful eye, and then removed Lyla from close proximity. He completed the parenting “Triple Crown” by explaining to Nathaniel how and why he had done wrong.
Charlie’s “Triple Crown” likely would have been to make a Triple Crown and Coke afterwards, but Matt resisted the urge to make a drink and instead continued playing with his son.
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Over the course of 3 months, there were many opportunities to witness the father-son bond growing between Matt and Nathaniel, from the aforementioned act of parenting, their Saturday morning Starbucks journeys, Matt reading and re-reading Nathaniel’s favorite books, and the two of them making dinner together.
Matt was the loving, doting father and Nathaniel, the lovable, huggable, curious son. Few things are more marvelous to observe.
But all good things do come to an end, as did even Charlie’s run on Two and a Half Men.
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When I only had a few days left in Columbus, Nathaniel and I were playing on the couch and I hadn’t yet told him I would be leaving soon.
I wasn’t quite sure how to tell him I wouldn’t be around every day anymore, so I simply said, “Buddy, in a couple of days I’m gonna go live with my mom just like you live with your mommy and daddy.”
Nathaniel tilted his head slightly, crumpled his nose, and replied, “Why do you want to go live with your mom?”
The real answer was a convoluted mess, so I answered, “that’s what people do sometimes.” Never deterred from playing, he went back to wrestling on the couch.
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I’m pretty sure in Two and a Half Men Charlie’s character was killed off, so I’m grateful that fate didn’t become Me when it came time to leave The Mastersons.
Instead, I was able to drive off into the sunset and on to another adventure.
WINNING, indeed.
Elbrecht's Corpuscle 